sex-position-types-best-sex-positions-guide-ultimate No two sex drives are exactly the same, but if you or your partner—or both of you—have a high sex drive, you’re probably always looking for ways to spice things up in the sheets. Luckily, there’s no shortage of positions out there to try, so we asked the experts which ones are best to satisfy the horniest of couples. What makes a position good for people with a high sex drive? Depending on what they’re looking for, people with a high sex drive might particularly enjoy positions that allow for deep thrusting or positions that can help the sex last longer, according to certified sex therapist Megan Fleming, Ph.D. Ideally, you’ll want to mix it up, switching from more intense positions to ones that allow you to slow down and not get tired out. The great part about having multiple types of positions in your arsenal is it allows you to adjust based on what the moment calls for. If you want to slow it down but keep the momentum going, you can—and then when the time comes, you can switch to something more vigorous. Here are 11 positions to get you started (and keep you going). 11 positions to try: 1. Doggy style Doggy style is a classic position in which the receiver is usually on their hands and knees with their partner entering from behind, whether anally or vaginally. Doggy style is great for high sex drives, according to Fleming, because it allows for greater depth of penetration from behind. Plus, it’s versatile, as you can both be on your knees, one partner can stand over the bed, or both of you can be standing. 2. Wheelbarrow Similar to doggy style but a bit more vigorous, wheelbarrow involves the person receiving to wrap their legs around their partner. You can get into this position by starting in doggy style and having your partner help you lift your legs back and up, wrapping them around their back. You’re guaranteed deep penetration, Fleming adds; plus, it’s a pretty good workout for both of you. 3. Elevated missionary Liven up your usual missionary with something like a pillow or wedge, to raise the pelvis of the person on the bottom. “Great sex is all about angles,” Fleming explains, so find ways you can elevate the pelvis to allow for more friction and pressure. Initiating Conversations About Sexual Likes & Dislikes 4. Yab-yum When the time comes to slow it down, consider getting into the lotus sex position, or yab-yum as it’s referred to in tantric practices. One partner sits upright with their legs crossed, and their partner sits on top of them, straddling them and wrapping their legs around their back. Fleming says it’s great for intimacy, as “there’s the eye gazing, and you can synchronize your breathing.” Plus, it’s a slower position that involves more grinding than thrusting, which can help with stamina. 5. Mutual masturbation Less of a position but still great for high sex drives, mutual masturbation gives you a lot of control over your own stamina and can help build intimacy with your partner, explains Gigi Engle, Zumio’s brand expert and certified clinical sexologist. “I suggest being on your back for the most visually open viewing experience for your partner,” she says. You can both masturbate together, or if you’re the one who’s horny and your partner doesn’t necessarily need to get off at the moment, they can join in by watching you and enjoying the show or assisting in simple ways, she adds. “For instance, they could suck on your nipples, run their hands between your inner thighs, or even put a G-spot wand inside you while you use a clitoral toy.” 6. 69 The 69 is a tried-and-true oral sex position for a reason. Both partners can enjoy receiving stimulation while also pleasing their partner. Fleming notes that sometimes it can be a bit distracting to give and receive at the same time, but if you’re looking to last longer, that may not be a bad thing. “It’s sustainable, and there’s something to be said about the teasing factor,” she adds. 7. Sideways 69 While 69-ing is great for stamina, Fleming notes it’s important to be mindful of your neck if you’re doing this for a long time. If you’ve never done so, you might want to give sideways 69 a try. Both partners can lie on their sides rather than the person on top potentially cramping up their neck. After all, pulling a neck muscle isn’t exactly sexy. This position can thus help partners keep the action going for longer. 8. Cowgirl To do the cowgirl, the partner with the penis or strap-on lies on their back, while the receiver straddles them and rides. Not only are women more likely to reach orgasm on top, Fleming notes, but this is another position that involves less thrusting and more grinding and rocking of the pelvis. “Because there’s less thrusting, it can really last longer,” she explains. 9. Reverse cowgirl The reverse cowgirl is exactly what it sounds like: Do the cowgirl, but have the person on top spin around so they’re facing their partner’s feet. This is another good one for women who like being on top, and it can be fun for the person on the bottom to get a different view. It’s also a position that allows for clitoral stimulation along with penetration, making an orgasm more likely. (Potentially even a blended orgasm, aka a simultaneous clitoral and vaginal orgasm.) 10. Spooning Another option for when you want to slow things down but keep the heat going, try spooning when you’re starting to feel tired out or you’re getting close to finishing and want to last longer. You can enjoy vaginal or anal penetration while spooning, and Fleming says this position is great for G-spot stimulation. This one helps sex last longer because you can really take it slow and enjoy the intimacy of this cuddly position. mbg Creative / mbg Creative 11. Standing with one leg raised Standing sex can be fun because it can get you out of bed, where most of your sex is likely happening. It’s also a good workout, Fleming notes. There are a handful of ways to have sex standing up, but the receiving partner raising one leg will allow for deeper penetration and stimulation for both people, and of course, you can stand virtually anywhere you want. (Different locations can be extra exciting!) Other tips and tricks for satisfying a high sex drive: 1. Try new things Along with trying new positions, Fleming says it’s a good idea to open your mind to other new things as well, such as toys, anal play, watching porn, and/or incorporating a bit of kink, if you’re into it. Things like light restraints or blindfolds are a good place to start, she adds; “If you cut off one of your senses, you heighten the others.” 2. Get on top “If you’re the partner with the higher sex drive, be willing to get on top,” Engle says. If your partner isn’t as fired up as you are, they may not be as willing to get on top, and “asking someone who is tired or less ready to rumble to do all the work in bed will likely lead to less sex in the future,” she adds. 3. Don’t be afraid to ask for oral Lastly, Engle says oral sex can be a good option if one partner isn’t as aroused as the other but they’re still willing to go down on you. Obviously, don’t beg them if they’re not in the mood, but at least sometimes, she says, they might be happy to please you with no expectation of receiving themselves. “This won’t work for everyone, as some people who aren’t in the mood for sex like straight up are not in the mood for sex,” she adds, “but it can work for others.” At the end of the day, satisfying sex will look different for everyone, and couples with particularly high sex drives might need to do a bit of experimenting to figure out what really gets the job done for them. You’ll never know if you never try, so be open to new things, enjoy the intimacy, and just have fun with it. 20 Positions to Try for the Most Satisfying Sex of Your Life If there’s a tiny part of you thinking “ouch” during sex, then it’s time to revisit your bedroom strategy. Sex should never hurt… unless that’s what you’re into! Even if a position worked with a previous partner, that might not be the case with the next. Different sizes, different techniques, and changing bodies and tastes are just some of the things we contend with when it comes to sex. The solution? Our enhanced-for-comfort-and-satisfaction sex positions. All you need to do is communicate and lubricate! Increase your comfort with these positions Sizzling missionary Let go of any old memories of those innocent times, when somewhat rhythmic up and down and in and out was all you knew about sex. Instead, create a new experience of the classic missionary for vaginal or anal penetration with minor adjustments. For P-in-V or dildo-in-V sex, in place of widening your legs, have your partner’s legs straddle your body to allow for mutual genital touching. The extra sensation can up arousal — and wetness — for a more enjoyable experience. It also limits how deep they can go, which can help prevent pain. For P-in-A or dildo-in-P sex, placing a pillow under the hips makes for easier and comfortable access to the entry point — and the prostate! Laying on pillow top Share on Pinterest Lie over a pillow, placing your pelvis over it for increased support. Bend your knees so that you can bring your pelvis upward and spread your legs enough to allow for vaginal or anal entry. Not only does this position let you adjust as needed to control the depth, but it also gives you a pillow under the sweet spot for rubbing your clit or penis against. Riding into the sunset Share on Pinterest Take control and get on top. This position is ideal for some cozy times because it allows for intimate kissing and eye gazing. As far as comfort goes, you get to dictate the rhythm and depth of penetration, so rock your pelvis back and forth or up and down as feels good. Lean forward or back as needed to accommodate anal or vaginal entry and use your hands for support if you need to. Lean into me Standing sex doesn’t require the great feat of strength you might think. All you need is a table or wall to lean against. Face each other, hook your leg around theirs for support, bring your genitals together, and create a comfortable rhythm. If you can find a comfortable angle for penetration, have at it. If not, the gentle-as-you-want grinding of your genitals can be just as erotic and even O-inducing. Side cuddle Lying on your side already provides a comfortable starting point that lets you either face each other for vaginal penetration or spoon for vaginal or anal. If facing each other, reach down and take reign of their strap-on or peen and gently maneuver it to get just the right angle and thrust. If spooning for rear entry, use your buttocks to control the depth and pace so it feels good for both. Use your hand as a buffer between you and your partner to help keep the depth to your comfort zone. The duo The duo can accommodate any type of penetration or self-pleasure — or a delicious combo of both — with a view of all the action to boot! The receiving partner lies on their back with their legs spread apart to allow their partner to kneel in between. Where you take it from there — you dynamic duo, you — is totes up to you. For vaginal or anal penetration with a penis, fingers, or toy, adjust your pelvis to accommodate entry and find your rhythm. Clit, nipple, or dick stim is within easy reach. If you want to skip penetration, this position’s perfect for mutual masturbation and erogenous play. The rabbit Have your partner kneel on the floor or bed and then straddle their lap while facing away. Think spooning, except on your knees. A tilt of the pelvis is all it takes to make this work for V or A penetration with depth that you get to control. Kick up the pleasure factor by using a vibrator over your clit or penis at the same time. Or, skip the penetration and just enjoy the (dry) humpy ride and toy play. The boycott If you’ve tried everything and you’re still experiencing pain — especially with penetration — then it’s time to boycott penetration for a little bit. Don’t fret, because now’s the perfect time to give 69 a try. Simply lie on your back and have your partner climb on so you’re facing mouth-to-genitals. Once you’re in position, make the most of this double dose of oral by using your lips and tongue, as well as your digits and hands. PS: You’re just the slip of a tongue or finger from B-town, so if you’re both cool with rimming or butt play, mix things up. Just be sure not to go from back to front without cleaning up first. Positions to prolong your play Want a position that’s comfortable for the long haul, or just looking to extend your pleasure any way you can? Here are three positions to prolong your play. Lazy doggy Lie flat on your front and have your partner lie on top with their elbows on the bed at your sides for support. If penetration’s on the menu, tilt your pelvis as needed for shallow A or V entry. The tight fit will feel incredible but the shallow depth and comfy position will help you both last. No penetration? No problem! Slip a vibrator under your pelvis for stimulation while your partner rubs on you, sliding between your butt cheeks. Table for two Stand facing a table, bend over, and have your partner stand close behind you. Support your body weight on the table and raise your hips to meet their genitals. Keeping your legs together, reach back with one hand to guide their penis or strap-on into your V or A only as deep as is comfortable. Have them stay still while you move back and forth in a rhythm that works. Easy glider Have your partner sit in a sturdy chair, straddle their lap, and ride or glide. In other words, move down onto their penis or dildo to enter your V or A and ride. Or, rest your genitals on theirs and glide to your heart’s — and loin’s — content. Oral sex positions for giver and receiver Oral sex is always a good time, but it can be a pleasure saver if you find penetration painful. Here are some moves for the giver and receiver. The beanbag A bean bag, stack of pillows, or comfy chair will do as long as the receiver can sit and lean back while the giver kneels on the floor at their feet. This position lets the giver go down on their partner while also reaching down for some hand or toy fun. The seated receiver’s also in the perfect position to get handy or use a toy for some erogenous self-love. Sideways 69 Just as the name suggests, you do the 69 while lying on your sides. Raise a leg as needed to give and get access to each other’s genitals and lick, kiss, and suck away. Flat line The receiver lies flat on their back with their legs closed, while the giver straddles the end of their legs and leans over to perform oral. The receiver gets the pleasure of oral, while the giver gets to rub and slide their genitals over their partner’s closed legs. If the straddler has a peen or strap, they can slip it between their partner’s legs for a hump. Best positions for partners who have a vulva and vagina For partners who have a vulva and vagina, these positions are all pleasure and no pain. All fours Both parties assume an on all fours position, one behind the other, so the partner in the back can perform oral. This position works for rimming, too. Missionary This classic lets you do it all! Perfect for a humpathon that can — but doesn’t have to — segue into penetration. For penetration, the receiving partner lies on their back with their legs apart to make way for their partner to enter them with a strap-on or handheld toy. The spread determines the depth of penetration for your comfort. Be sure to take advantage of all that face time to make out! Hug it out If you’re looking to up the intimacy, have your partner sit cross-legged and then sit on their lap and wrap your legs around them. Enjoy all the eye contact while kissing and touching each other’s hot spots. Best positions for partners who have a penis For partners who have a penis, these three positions let you have the oohs without the ouch. Spooning Spooning lets the receiver enjoy being cradled while also allowing them to control the depth. To limit depth, keep your legs together. To give the giver deeper access, simply spread a little more. Continue to adjust as needed to keep discomfort at bay. Missionary This is definitely a more giver-dominant position, but the face-to-face allows for better communication, which can make all the difference if the receiver is worried about pain. Lie on your back and widen your legs enough to allow your partner to position themselves on top. Hold their hips to help guide them to a depth and pace that feels right. Trombone for two This take on the 69 lets you suck each other off and give or get a rim job. One partner lies on their back. The other gets on top and positions their butt or genitals over their partner’s face and dives in. Tried ’em all? Step up your game with these advanced moves Now that you’ve got the sheet-twisting, pain-free sex positions down, try these moves to take your game even further. Lube like a boss There are quirw a few sex positions that can benefit greatly from lube. And when it comes to lowering the likelihood of pain, lube is your BFF! Use it for penetration of any kind, and use lots of it. Use even more to get your naked dry hump on, because it’ll make for some super slippery goodness. Extra pointers: Lubes that contain oil are a no-no if you’re using latex barrier methods. Silicone lube can make a silicone sex toy degrade and lead to painful play. Use lube for sensation play, like warming or cooling lubes on the nips or balls. Try app-controlled toys App-controlled and remote-controlled toys are just as fun IRL as they are for long-distance play. Take turns using one on each other, or get two for a tandem tease fest. Mix things up by using them with some of the positions above or let them be the main course. Try your hand — or toy — at delayed orgasm Delayed orgasm or edging is the act of taking yourself or a partner to the brink of orgasm without actually orgasming — at least not for a bit. Why? Because the journey to the big O feels good for starters. And, when you finally do climax, it’ll be intense. To do it, you can stop the stimulation just before orgasm and then resume again once the urge has passed, or switch to another sex act or stimulate a different body part every time climax is near. Just remember that good communication, consent, and clear boundaries are key to making this enjoyable for all parties. The bottom line Sex shouldn’t hurt. With good communication, the willingness to experiment, and the right, er, tools, it doesn’t have to. Adrienne Santos-Longhurst is a Canada-based freelance writer and author who has written extensively on all things health and lifestyle for more than a decade. When she’s not holed-up in her writing shed researching an article or off interviewing health professionals, she can be found frolicking around her beach town with husband and dogs in tow or splashing about the lake trying to master the stand-up paddle board.
If there’s a tiny part of you thinking “ouch” during sex, then it’s time to revisit your bedroom strategy. Sex should never hurt… unless that’s what you’re into! Even if a position worked with a previous partner, that might not be the case with the next. Different sizes, different techniques, and changing bodies and tastes are just some of the things we contend with when it comes to sex. The solution? Our enhanced-for-comfort-and-satisfaction sex positions. All you need to do is communicate and lubricate! Increase your comfort with these positions Sizzling missionary Let go of any old memories of those innocent times, when somewhat rhythmic up and down and in and out was all you knew about sex. Instead, create a new experience of the classic missionary for vaginal or anal penetration with minor adjustments. For P-in-V or dildo-in-V sex, in place of widening your legs, have your partner’s legs straddle your body to allow for mutual genital touching. The extra sensation can up arousal — and wetness — for a more enjoyable experience. It also limits how deep they can go, which can help prevent pain. For P-in-A or dildo-in-P sex, placing a pillow under the hips makes for easier and comfortable access to the entry point — and the prostate! Laying on pillow top Share on Pinterest Lie over a pillow, placing your pelvis over it for increased support. Bend your knees so that you can bring your pelvis upward and spread your legs enough to allow for vaginal or anal entry. Not only does this position let you adjust as needed to control the depth, but it also gives you a pillow under the sweet spot for rubbing your clit or penis against. Riding into the sunset Share on Pinterest Take control and get on top. This position is ideal for some cozy times because it allows for intimate kissing and eye gazing. As far as comfort goes, you get to dictate the rhythm and depth of penetration, so rock your pelvis back and forth or up and down as feels good. Lean forward or back as needed to accommodate anal or vaginal entry and use your hands for support if you need to. Lean into me Standing sex doesn’t require the great feat of strength you might think. All you need is a table or wall to lean against. Face each other, hook your leg around theirs for support, bring your genitals together, and create a comfortable rhythm. If you can find a comfortable angle for penetration, have at it. If not, the gentle-as-you-want grinding of your genitals can be just as erotic and even O-inducing. Side cuddle Lying on your side already provides a comfortable starting point that lets you either face each other for vaginal penetration or spoon for vaginal or anal. If facing each other, reach down and take reign of their strap-on or peen and gently maneuver it to get just the right angle and thrust. If spooning for rear entry, use your buttocks to control the depth and pace so it feels good for both. Use your hand as a buffer between you and your partner to help keep the depth to your comfort zone. The duo The duo can accommodate any type of penetration or self-pleasure — or a delicious combo of both — with a view of all the action to boot! The receiving partner lies on their back with their legs spread apart to allow their partner to kneel in between. Where you take it from there — you dynamic duo, you — is totes up to you. For vaginal or anal penetration with a penis, fingers, or toy, adjust your pelvis to accommodate entry and find your rhythm. Clit, nipple, or dick stim is within easy reach. If you want to skip penetration, this position’s perfect for mutual masturbation and erogenous play. The rabbit Have your partner kneel on the floor or bed and then straddle their lap while facing away. Think spooning, except on your knees. A tilt of the pelvis is all it takes to make this work for V or A penetration with depth that you get to control. Kick up the pleasure factor by using a vibrator over your clit or penis at the same time. Or, skip the penetration and just enjoy the (dry) humpy ride and toy play. The boycott If you’ve tried everything and you’re still experiencing pain — especially with penetration — then it’s time to boycott penetration for a little bit. Don’t fret, because now’s the perfect time to give 69 a try. Simply lie on your back and have your partner climb on so you’re facing mouth-to-genitals. Once you’re in position, make the most of this double dose of oral by using your lips and tongue, as well as your digits and hands. PS: You’re just the slip of a tongue or finger from B-town, so if you’re both cool with rimming or butt play, mix things up. Just be sure not to go from back to front without cleaning up first. Positions to prolong your play Want a position that’s comfortable for the long haul, or just looking to extend your pleasure any way you can? Here are three positions to prolong your play. Lazy doggy Lie flat on your front and have your partner lie on top with their elbows on the bed at your sides for support. If penetration’s on the menu, tilt your pelvis as needed for shallow A or V entry. The tight fit will feel incredible but the shallow depth and comfy position will help you both last. No penetration? No problem! Slip a vibrator under your pelvis for stimulation while your partner rubs on you, sliding between your butt cheeks. Table for two Stand facing a table, bend over, and have your partner stand close behind you. Support your body weight on the table and raise your hips to meet their genitals. Keeping your legs together, reach back with one hand to guide their penis or strap-on into your V or A only as deep as is comfortable. Have them stay still while you move back and forth in a rhythm that works. Easy glider Have your partner sit in a sturdy chair, straddle their lap, and ride or glide. In other words, move down onto their penis or dildo to enter your V or A and ride. Or, rest your genitals on theirs and glide to your heart’s — and loin’s — content. Oral sex positions for giver and receiver Oral sex is always a good time, but it can be a pleasure saver if you find penetration painful. Here are some moves for the giver and receiver. The beanbag A bean bag, stack of pillows, or comfy chair will do as long as the receiver can sit and lean back while the giver kneels on the floor at their feet. This position lets the giver go down on their partner while also reaching down for some hand or toy fun. The seated receiver’s also in the perfect position to get handy or use a toy for some erogenous self-love. Sideways 69 Just as the name suggests, you do the 69 while lying on your sides. Raise a leg as needed to give and get access to each other’s genitals and lick, kiss, and suck away. Flat line The receiver lies flat on their back with their legs closed, while the giver straddles the end of their legs and leans over to perform oral. The receiver gets the pleasure of oral, while the giver gets to rub and slide their genitals over their partner’s closed legs. If the straddler has a peen or strap, they can slip it between their partner’s legs for a hump. Best positions for partners who have a vulva and vagina For partners who have a vulva and vagina, these positions are all pleasure and no pain. All fours Both parties assume an on all fours position, one behind the other, so the partner in the back can perform oral. This position works for rimming, too. Missionary This classic lets you do it all! Perfect for a humpathon that can — but doesn’t have to — segue into penetration. For penetration, the receiving partner lies on their back with their legs apart to make way for their partner to enter them with a strap-on or handheld toy. The spread determines the depth of penetration for your comfort. Be sure to take advantage of all that face time to make out! Hug it out If you’re looking to up the intimacy, have your partner sit cross-legged and then sit on their lap and wrap your legs around them. Enjoy all the eye contact while kissing and touching each other’s hot spots. Best positions for partners who have a penis For partners who have a penis, these three positions let you have the oohs without the ouch. Spooning Spooning lets the receiver enjoy being cradled while also allowing them to control the depth. To limit depth, keep your legs together. To give the giver deeper access, simply spread a little more. Continue to adjust as needed to keep discomfort at bay. Missionary This is definitely a more giver-dominant position, but the face-to-face allows for better communication, which can make all the difference if the receiver is worried about pain. Lie on your back and widen your legs enough to allow your partner to position themselves on top. Hold their hips to help guide them to a depth and pace that feels right. Trombone for two This take on the 69 lets you suck each other off and give or get a rim job. One partner lies on their back. The other gets on top and positions their butt or genitals over their partner’s face and dives in. Tried ’em all? Step up your game with these advanced moves Now that you’ve got the sheet-twisting, pain-free sex positions down, try these moves to take your game even further. Lube like a boss There are quirw a few sex positions that can benefit greatly from lube. And when it comes to lowering the likelihood of pain, lube is your BFF! Use it for penetration of any kind, and use lots of it. Use even more to get your naked dry hump on, because it’ll make for some super slippery goodness. Extra pointers: Lubes that contain oil are a no-no if you’re using latex barrier methods. Silicone lube can make a silicone sex toy degrade and lead to painful play. Use lube for sensation play, like warming or cooling lubes on the nips or balls. Try app-controlled toys App-controlled and remote-controlled toys are just as fun IRL as they are for long-distance play. Take turns using one on each other, or get two for a tandem tease fest. Mix things up by using them with some of the positions above or let them be the main course. Try your hand — or toy — at delayed orgasm Delayed orgasm or edging is the act of taking yourself or a partner to the brink of orgasm without actually orgasming — at least not for a bit. Why? Because the journey to the big O feels good for starters. And, when you finally do climax, it’ll be intense. To do it, you can stop the stimulation just before orgasm and then resume again once the urge has passed, or switch to another sex act or stimulate a different body part every time climax is near. Just remember that good communication, consent, and clear boundaries are key to making this enjoyable for all parties. The bottom line Sex shouldn’t hurt. With good communication, the willingness to experiment, and the right, er, tools, it doesn’t have to. Adrienne Santos-Longhurst is a Canada-based freelance writer and author who has written extensively on all things health and lifestyle for more than a decade. When she’s not holed-up in her writing shed researching an article or off interviewing health professionals, she can be found frolicking around her beach town with husband and dogs in tow or splashing about the lake trying to master the stand-up paddle board.