A life skills coach helps others find success in their personal and professional lives. They help clients to set goals such as changing their careers, losing weight, expanding their business, or creating a better work-life balance. They then provide both advice and motivation for achieving those goals. Often, this involves adopting new mindsets and creating a blueprint of specific actions to achieve the goal. Life coaches continue to meet regularly with a client until the goal is met. While some life skills coaches work with all kinds of people, others specialize in coaching individuals who have mental or physical disabilities.
Self-improvement is a particularly popular genre of books, with the number of publications doubling between 1972 and 2000 (du Plessis, 2020).
Furthermore, the total revenue from coaching in 2019 was USD 2.849 billion, representing a 21% growth from 2015 (ICF, 2020). It is apparent that self-improvement and self-improvement books are highly sought after, and there is an intense hunger for self-betterment.
But what if self-help books on their own aren’t helping, and people are unable to make changes? Fortunately, this is where the valuable capabilities of a life skills coach can make all the difference. So, let’s see what a life skills coach does and how to become one.
Life Skills Coaching: A Job Description
Life skills are problem-solving behaviors that can be applied to the self, family, leisure, community, and work (Curtiss & Warren, 1974).
A life skills coach can assist clients by helping them lose weight, change careers, or create a better work-life balance. Clients may need assistance with goal attainment, self-discovery, or personal development (Grant & Green, 2018).
Clients may also desire other life changes that include a business expansion or financial skills. Whatever the goal, a life skills coach will be there to help clients develop the necessary skills to achieve their desired goals.
Contrary to popular belief, life skills coaching isn’t about solely giving advice. Coaching of this type involves offering a different perspective; it is about helping clients change their habits which, in turn, changes their life.
A life skills coach may also motivate to begin and sustain the habits required to achieve the goals shared by the client, and may even wear multiple hats. To demonstrate, Grant and Green (2018) describe the roles of the coach in four stages:
- Stage 1 – Coach as a consultant
- Stage 2 – Coach as an educator/trainer
- Stage 3 – Coach as a facilitator
- Stage 4 – Coach as a mentor
While coaching has a similar theoretical base and ethical structure to counseling, the two professions are distinctly different (Reeves, Kingsland, Aspey, & Cunnion, 2010).
Life skills coaches work in a variety of environments and with a variety of clients. Sessions may be conducted in person, over the phone, or virtually. Clients comprise people of all ages and abilities and may attend individual or group coaching sessions.
In short, coaching is goal focused and can include building skills, improving performance, and facilitating personal and professional improvement (Grant & Green, 2018).
Life skills coaches are often expected to have abilities in the following domains:
- Strong verbal and written communication skills
- Excellent interpersonal skills
- Excellent analytical and critical-thinking skills
- Excellent collaborative, leadership, motivational, and team-building skills
- Ability to work collaboratively within the context of a treatment team
- Ability to think and perform flexibly in a dynamic work environment
- Creativity, innovativeness, and resourcefulness
- Strong teaching, training, and facilitation skills
- Experience working as a professional coach, clinician, teacher, instructor, or related profession
- Experience working in a clinical or correctional setting
- Adept at working with computers and technology
- Willingness to acquire and/or maintain additional certifications
- Strong and charismatic personality; assertive and authoritative
- High-energy and professional personality
- Solid work ethic
- Intelligent and quick – must be at least one step ahead of the client
- Able to read people quickly; highly intuitive
- A strong desire to learn and implement a highly directive coaching methodology; trainable and coachable
- Flexible work schedule to accommodate clients
Our Life Skills sessions can include, but are not limited to, the following topics:
- Time Management and Scheduling
- Prioritizing
- Rationalizations that keep you stuck
- Social Skills
- Organization and Planning skills
- Self-Assessment and Personal Goals
- Stress and Anxiety Management Techniques
- Balancing Life tasks
- Problem Solving Strategies
- Conflict Resolution
- Managing Resources
- Motivation
- Mindfulness
- Developing Self Discipline
Communication and Social Skills Coaching Explained
Three broad areas of coaching include skills coaching, performance coaching, and developmental coaching.
Communication and social skills coaching may be components of all three.
Communication is everything, and life is all about communication. Eliciting the help of a communication coach could help clients advance their personal or professional life.
Someone may seek the help of a communication coach if they believe their communication skills are holding them back in presentations, leadership, public speaking, meetings, or interviews.
For example, effective communication is crucial for high-quality healthcare (Seiler et al., 2017). Seiler et al. (2017) determined the effectiveness of a physician training module created to improve etiquette-based communication skills. The premise of this research was based on the assumption that better communication skills result in a more positive patient experience.
Blessing (2006) asserts that communication coaching is much like mediation. Various types of communication coaching offer the following services:
- Voice coaching
- Speech therapy for speech problems and accents
- Relationship enhancement for the client’s personal life
- Advertising and company image services
- Emotional intelligence training for business relationships, including
- Assertiveness training
- Training in facilitation
- Team building
- Evaluation of and help with speech and report writing
- Speaking style
- Systemic communication coaching
A communication coach may help clients describe their current situation and identify the difficulties they are having and the success they desire. Both the communication coach and coachee explore options for making life better and determine which of those options will work best.
The next step is to put these options into practice through skill building and detailed action planning, using a review process to track the progress.
Social skills concern the facilitation of interactions with others, whether that interaction is verbal, nonverbal, written, or visual. A social skills coach will focus on the social norms and rules of society.
Social skills may include turn-taking, reading nonverbal cues, maintaining eye contact, listening, and empathy. Social skills coaching is a particularly popular area of need for individuals on the autism spectrum, as these individuals may have needs in this area.
Similar to social skills, soft skills will also help an individual navigate their social surroundings. Furthermore, both social and soft skills are vital for job procurement. Not surprisingly, there is also a need for soft and job skills coaches.
What are soft and job skills coaching?
Some life skills coaches may focus on soft skills and job skills. Soft skills enable individuals to navigate their environment. These people skills or interpersonal skills may include attitude, work ethic, time management, and communication (Bates & Morgan, 2018). Strengths in these areas would translate to practical skills to obtain a job.
A job coach may help an individual during a job search and the hiring process. The first task may be to tailor a resume and cover letter to a specific position. The job coach may prepare interview questions or help job seekers refine their interviewing skills during a mock interview. Additionally, this coach may help instill skills that candidates need to keep the desired job.
Similar to the role of an athletic coach, a soft skill or job coach is expected to help a person develop emotionally, socially, and cognitively. Lisinskiene’s (2018) study involving a coach educational program concluded that improved psychological and educational skills positively impact social skills learning.
Such psychological skills paralleled in athletic coaching and soft skill/job coaching include motivation, self-determination, goal setting, emotional skills, and stress management (Lisinskiene, 2018).
Also similar to the soft skills/job coach is the role of an educational literacy coach. These individuals focus on listening, establishing trusting relationships, and structuring constructive conversations just as soft skills/job coaches do (Bates & Morgan, 2018).
How to Become a Life Skills Coach
According to the Cohen Healthcare Law Group, U.S. coaches do not require a specific license to offer services, as they do not practice medicine, chiropractic therapy, or dietetics. Furthermore, life skills coaches do not pose a threat to public health, and clients are not typically in an emotionally vulnerable state (Grant & Green, 2018).
Although licensure is not required, coaches seek certifications to increase marketability and professionalism. The International Coaching Federation (ICF) is a global organization for coaches and coaching. The ICF aims to foster a worldwide network of trained coaching professionals and set high standards by providing an independent certification for coaching.
To become a member, you must complete at least 60 hours of coach-specific training approved by the ICF. The ICF encourages membership seekers to enroll in one of their ICF-accredited coach training programs.
Other global coaching bodies include the European Mentoring & Coaching Council and the Association for Coaching.
While a bachelor’s degree isn’t always required, an associate’s degree will help a candidate qualify for some coaching positions. Some companies may require a minimum of a master’s degree in psychology or social work for their coaching positions.
The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (2021) includes health and wellness coaches within the field of health educators and community health workers and projects the number of jobs in that field to increase by 13% from 2019 to 2029, a much faster rate than the average.
Our Philosophy behind this Life Coach Training course
We have a 1-2-3 approach to life coaching. After understanding the client’s goal, we 1) Understand the way the client views the world (their values, beliefs, and interpretations), 2) understand the client’s triggers and traits (what they like and dislike doing), and 3) create strategies based on the first two elements.
Success in life coaching comes from clients achieving their goals. For a life coach to help a client put strategies in place that succeed, they need to ensure that the client completes tasks that move them forward. They need to also ensure the client has a growth mindset based on personal empowering beliefs. For that reason, our life coaching course focuses on understanding how individuals think and create their ‘model of the world, what beliefs empower them and what beliefs hold them back, what is important to them, what they dislike, and what they love. Only then can we make sure that the strategies we put in place, along with the client, have the greatest chance of success. This in turn will help us achieve more with our clients, create more clients through positive word-of-mouth referrals, and find greater success as a life coach.
So what are the skills of a successful life coach? You will learn:
- How to understand people
- How to build trusting relationships
- How to listen like an expert
- How to help others develop successful strategies
- How to ask the right questions
- How to create tasks as a life coach
- How to develop a growth mindset
As a life coach, you will show others strategies for how to succeed in life by setting goals. Setting goals and achieving them requires clients to follow processes and this course has several processes that will help with this.
By the end of this course, you will have the confidence to make a real difference in the lives of others, and, just as importantly, in your own life! You will be able to help your clients gain clarity and focus, after all, what is life without purpose or intention? You will be able to help your clients know what they want, how to get there and provide strategies for action.
The course will also be updated regularly, to provide you with the very latest information and greater depth.
This course comes with a certificate of completion when you have finished all the modules.
Who this course is for:
- This course is perfect for absolute beginners right through to advanced students of life coaching.
- This course is for people looking to develop a career as a professional life coach. The techniques are also exceptionally useful for people in a leadership roles.
- This course is for those looking to develop great life coaching and communication skills to help others perform better.
- This course is for people who want to be more effective at work by adding the benefits of a life coaching approach.
- This course is for people who want to create a successful life coaching business.
3 Online Courses and Programs
If you are eager to become a life skills coach and make a life-changing impact on other people’s lives, then consider the following online programs.
Health Coach Institute
Stacey Morgenstern and Carey Peters used their combined 25+ years of professional coaching experience to create the ICF-accredited Health Coach Institute (HCI).
Its mission is “to change the way we do health by empowering deeply caring people to transform lives, create abundant careers, and change the world—one coaching conversation at a time” (Health Coach Institute, n.d.).
HCI is an entirely online program that is flexible, and the Health Coach Program can be completed in as few as six months. The graduate-level Coach Mastery Program can be completed in as few as 12 months. The dual Health and Life Coach certification will take approximately six months to complete.
HCI boasts they are one of the few schools that offer health and life coach training together in one comprehensive program and are a global community of over 20,000 members.
Grand Canyon University
Grand Canyon University offers an online graduate degree program to jump-start a career in life skills coaching. The Master of Science in Psychology with an Emphasis in Life Coaching focuses on cognition, motivation, psychology, leadership theory, communication, data analysis, and responses to psychology and sociology.
Fowler International Academy of Professional Coaching
Created and taught by Berry Fowler, also the founder of Sylvan Learning Center, the Fowler International Academy of Professional Coaching is recognized by the ICF as offering Continuing Coach Education credit. In addition to life coach training, this establishment offers the following coaching courses:
- We Live Without Limits Coach
- Certified Disaster Recovery Coach
- Certified Career and Vocation Coach
- Hope Certified Community Coach
- Military Support Personnel Life Coach
- Certified Group Leader
- Certified Master Business Coach
- Certified Executive Leadership Coach
6 Best Certification and Training Opportunities
For certification, the following institutions are worth considering.
International Coaching Federation
The International Coaching Federation (ICF) offers three credentials – Associate, Professional, and Master Certified Coach – with the following criteria:
- Associate Certified Coach requires 60+ hours of training to apply and 100+ hours of coaching experience.
- Professional Certified Coach requires 125+ hours of training to apply and 500+ hours of coaching experience.
- Master Certified Coach requires 200+ hours of training to apply and 2,500+ hours of coaching experience.
Additionally, the ICF maintains high standards for professional coaches worldwide and requires ICF credential renewal every three years. Renewing credentials consists of documenting mentor coaching hours and Continuing Coach Education hours.
Professional associations in Canada, the United Kingdom, and Australia
Health Coach Alliance (HCA) is a Canada-based organization with the intent to unite thousands of Registered Health Coaches™, Registered Health & Nutrition Counselors™, and Registered Holistic Nutrition Practitioners™ across North America.
The Federation of Holistic Therapists (FHT) is an organization based in the United Kingdom that aims to protect the public’s health by ensuring that therapy training and practice are of a high standard. The FHT is the UK’s largest professional association for therapists and offers continuing professional development opportunities.
Comparable to the HCA and FHT, the International Institute for Complementary Therapists provides membership and training opportunities for practitioners in Australia.
Evercoach by Mindvalley
Evercoach by Mindvalley is a training ground for coaches that offers free coaching guides and a YouTube channel with a plethora of resource videos to get started with and maintain a coaching journey.
They state their mission as the following: “Over the next decade, our goal is to train 1 million+ coaches to create better results for their clients while living a life of freedom and abundance” (Evercoach, n.d.).
Association for Coaching
The Association for Coaching is a global organization with members in over 80 countries who strive to professionalize and advance coaching. They offer various types of membership, accreditation, and continuous professional development opportunities. The association also created a resource hub available to anyone that includes research, guides, articles, and recommended reading.
Essential Skills for Life Coaches
There are a variety of coaching skills that are essential for a client to be familiar with in learning to be effective and efficient when helping their clients. There are 7 key skills in learning to be a masterful coach. These skills are outlined in the table below and will be explored in more depth throughout this section. Coaching skills may be the most important piece of becoming a coach as they set the foundation for how you interact with your clients.
Effective Communication
Effective communication cannot be underestimated in the coaching relationship. Clients look toward their coach to communicate effectively and expressly. Many people do not know how to communicate effectively. So the coach’s effective communication skills in session will help model for the client how they can communicate more effectively in all of their relationships.
There are a variety of ways that coaches communicate effectively in sessions with clients. First, a coach communicates with clients directly during sessions with clear language to help clients maximize positive impact. When clients give clear and direct communication it helps clients focus on the heart of the issue that they’re dealing with rather than be distracted. A coach must also provide feedback in clear and direct ways so that clients are not confused or unclear about what they need to do to work toward their goals. Part of this is that a coach should help clients understand issues from a different perspective and help them find clarity when they feel uncertain. This includes using questions in effective ways to help clients gain clarity on their issues and on how they can best work toward their goals. Coaches should also always use respectful and appropriate language with clients. The ultimate goal is for the client to be able to hear what the coach is saying. So communicating in a language the client can connect with is an important piece of this. Another important piece is to use analogies and metaphors to help clients understand concepts with greater sophistication and depth.
Awareness
Helping coaches foster client awareness is an important piece of being an effective coach. Awareness is a requirement for change. Unless a client becomes aware they cannot choose to make new decisions. So a coach must help clients to become more aware of their behaviors, thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. Coaches accomplish this by utilizing the other coaching skills we have discussed in this section.
Coaches need to help clients to integrate all the information that clients share to create coherent interpretations that help clients gain self-awareness. This means helping clients integrate their emotions, behaviors, beliefs, perspectives, and body language so that they come to a more holistic understanding of what’s going on. Part of this is exploring what is behind the client’s words and not getting caught up in the “content” of what is said and instead focusing on what underlies the words. It also means that coaches help clients explore how their beliefs, moods, emotions, background, thoughts, and behaviors are all linked and contribute to what’s going on in their life.
To help foster awareness coaches use a variety of techniques to help clients understand themselves and their circumstances in more detail. First, they ask questions to create more awareness and understanding. Coaches also pull main points, concerns, and beliefs out of what the client shares. They also help their client see the difference between beliefs and facts by utilizing the skills described above.
Coaches also help clients to expand their perspectives. They help clients see when they’re stuck in one way of perceiving the world by challenging them and supporting them to explore new perspectives. Coaches help clients discover new thoughts, emotions, beliefs, perceptions, and actions that might be more beneficial to their life and their goals. And they help the client become aware of new perspectives on their life and potentially new ways of doing things.
Coaches also help clients see when their emotions don’t match the story they’re telling and help clients see when they’re disconnected from those emotions. Coaches also help clients with unique insights and understanding of their issues in ways that are specifically meaningful to the client. So this means using language that your client is using so that you’re literally “speaking their language”. But it also means using meaningful metaphors and analogies that your client can personally connect with. For example, a metaphor about tuning up a car as being similar to working on personal growth may be very meaningful for a male client but miss the mark with a female client. Whereas a metaphor about choosing the right outfit as being similar to choosing the right romantic partner might be a great and meaningful metaphor for a female client. Be sure to tailor the way you talk to each client’s unique situation.
Coaches also work with clients to help them become aware of times that they should celebrate their successes and become more aware of their strengths. Part of this is helping clients to identify strengths. Telling clients when you think they’ve done good work or have made changes that will benefit their goals. But coaches must balance discussing strengths and celebration with discussing areas where growth is still needed. Because both are needed to be successful. So a coach must help their clients celebrate successes while simultaneously exploring areas where more work is needed. Part of this is confronting clients when actions and words do not mesh when the client is saying one thing but doing another. The key to successful confrontation is to confront from a place of empathy and care so that the client knows that they are supported, even when you are challenging them to do better.
Actions
Coaches also must help clients to find ways to continue improving and learning throughout life. A huge part of this is to help them focus on creating positive actions which contribute to their goals. So if a client is wanting to lose weight encouraging them to continue learning about nutrition and fitness is an action that will help them improve their lives and reach their goals.
Coaches must also help clients think of new actions that will lead to client goals. This means creatively brainstorming new things that a client can try to do to accomplish their goals. Perhaps they don’t have time to work out? Then a coach might suggest doing chair exercises while working so that they can do two things at the same time and maximize their time. In this way, coaches help clients identify, explore, and implement alternative solutions to their problems and help them discern what options are best for them and their unique circumstances.
Coaches must also help clients experiment with new behaviors to push the boundaries of what they thought was possible in their life. This includes helping the client to identify routes for new actions that they can take through exploring new ideas, beliefs, and perspectives. And to help the client consider new points of view that will motivate new actions. Part of this is helping the client find a balance between learning at a comfortable pace and stretching to get outside of their comfort zone. And one of the most successful ways to accomplish this is to help the client begin to utilize new behavioral strategies in session so that they can receive immediate feedback and support. So if the coach is trying to get the client to do chair exercises at work they might explain these chair exercises during the session and ask the client to perform these new behaviors during their session together. Then the coach can follow up with the client about what it was like to do these exercises so that the client can receive immediate feedback and support in doing new actions in their life.
Listening Skills
Active Listening
Active listening is a skill. Most people do not use active listening when they have conversations. Rather, most people just wait to take their turn to speak when they interact with others. Active listening is being fully and completely present with your clients and what they are saying. It’s developing the ability to keep your mind focused on the client and their issues and not turn inward and focus on your thoughts.
Active listening also involves paying attention to the whole of what a client is communicating and not just focusing on their words. Body language can communicate a lot when working with clients. For example, if a client is telling you that they’ve had a great week but they’re clenching their fists or their arms are crossed that may be communicating that they have some frustration or anxiety about their week that they’re not telling you about. The client’s communication extends beyond words and the coach must listen to the volume, pitch, tone of voice, and word choice of what the client is saying. When a client is talking about something that they’re angry about but is talking in a whisper and low tone they may be indicating that they’re feeling more sad than angry. The reason coaches need to be attuned to these other means of communication is that it is then the coach’s responsibility to gently point out to the client the contradictions between what they’re saying and the other ways they’re communicating.
The coach also needs to utilize different listening techniques with their client effectively. Listening techniques are used to help clarify to the client that the coach understands what the client is saying. It also allows the client to correct the coach if the information is wrong or mistaken. Each listening technique is summarized in the table below:
Skill | Explanation | Example |
---|---|---|
Rephrasing | Stating back to the client what they said in different words. | Client: “I’m frustrated about my work because my boss doesn’t listen to me”
Coach: “So what I’m hearing is that you’re not feeling listened to at your job and feeling upset about it?” |
Reiteration | Stating back to the client exactly what they said | Client:” I’m sad”
Coach: “So it sounds like you’re feeling pretty sad” |
Paraphrasing | Repeating to the client what they said in your own words | Client: “Ugh, sometimes people are just so completely clueless!”
Coach: “Sounds like you’re feeling upset because you’re disappointed in other people” |
Summarizing | Repeating back to the client, in a nutshell, the basics of a longer story they’ve told you | Client: “So yesterday at work my boss was telling everyone how much he hated people who have trouble with details and recently I got written up for missing details in my latest report. I felt really attacked by my boss”.
Coach: “So it sounds like you felt like your boss was making a direct critique of you to the entire office” |
Affirmations | Giving the client encouragement and congratulating their progress. Boosts self-confidence and shows clients you’re paying attention. | Coach: “You handled that really well” |
Short Interjections | Nodding, saying “yes” or “I see” | Client: “I was really hurt by what Sally did”
Coach: “Yes, I see” |
Clarifying | Clarifying when you receive conflicting information and checking with clients to ensure that your understanding is correct | Client: “I didn’t think I’d see her again so I was relieved. But we were going to go out on Saturday and I was excited to see her”.
Coach: “So you weren’t sure you were going to see her again even though you had plans on Saturday?” Client: “well, I wasn’t sure she would come” Coach: “Okay, so you were excited when you saw her because you did get to see her after all” Client: “yeah, I guess I wanted to see her even though I didn’t think I did when I was angry” |
Reflecting | Mirror back expressions used by the client | Client: “I knew he would flip when she saw me with her ex”
Coach: “So did he flip out?” |
Coaches also need to be sure that they hear and respond to a client’s unique beliefs, concerns, goals, expectations, and past experiences about what they think is possible and what they expect to be difficult in coaching. This will give the coach an idea of what the client thinks about their goals and about the possibility of achieving their goals. And giving full attention to the uniqueness of what the client is presenting to the coach will also make the client feel listened to and feel that the coach has a genuine concern for them and their problems. Another aspect of this is that the coach accepts, encourages, and explores the client’s emotional landscape including difficult feelings, beliefs, and perceptions. This means not shying away from difficult topics that the client is ready to explore. It also means making space for the client to delve into emotions, beliefs, and perceptions which may be difficult for them to admit to or own. In this way, the coach must give the client space to express what’s going on in their life with empathy and acceptance.
Coaches must also help clients clarify what they’re thinking and feeling in sessions. This can show up in a variety of ways. First, coaches must integrate the client’s ideas into coaching so that the coach and client are co-creating solutions together. Second, the coach must help clients summarize and communicate what they’re talking about in simpler more basic terms so that they are getting to the core of what they’re talking about rather than lingering in storytelling mode.
Non-Verbal Listening Techniques
Eye contact
Eye contact can be a powerful indicator of attention. When coaches maintain eye contact with their clients, whether in person or over video chat, they show them that they are sincerely listening to what they are saying. However, it’s important not to stare and to look away periodically so that your client doesn’t feel intimidated or weird in any way about the eye contact.
Facial expressions that indicate you are present and focused
Show your client with your facial expressions and body language that you’re fully present. Demonstrate with your eyes or your mouth when you’re following along with what they’re saying. Smile when they discuss good things going on in their life. And show empathy in your expression if they are discussing something challenging. Sometimes a facial expression can be far more encouraging for a client to go deeper into their experience and their emotions than words can be since a client is free to interpret the facial expression however they choose.
Body language
Nodding or tilting the head can tell your client that you’re tuned into what you’re saying. It can show that you’re present with them as they’re speaking. A nod is often experienced the same way saying “yes, go on” is experienced in the world of the client. It encourages them to go deeper, to express their ideas with more depth, and to tell you more. All without you having to say a thing!
Silence
Silence is one of the most useful techniques in coaching and listening specifically. Often when a client gets silent it’s because they are thinking, not because they are waiting for you to talk. The skill comes in allowing yourself to make space for silence. In regular conversation, people are used to filling the silence with small talk or with a response. Silence is not frequently used in day-to-day conversation and will therefore feel a little odd when you first start using it. But it is indispensable in allowing your client the space and time to think through what’s going on and to make room for them to fully experience their emotions. Silence also gives you time to collect your thoughts and think about what’s going on in the moment. You are in no rush. So don’t just rush a response because it will fill the silence.
Tips to use silence effectively
Start becoming aware of how comfortable you are with silence and how silence is filled in normal conversation. Start using silence more in conversations and even count in your head for a few seconds before responding to force yourself to insert silence into the discussion. It’s specifically important to allow time for silence after asking thought-provoking or complex questions. And allow for some silence when you think a client is completed speaking to make room for them to add anything to their responses. However, one caveat is that silence shouldn’t be too long or it might make the client uncomfortable and make them start to wonder what you’re thinking about during the session! And if you need to take a moment of prolonged silence just inform your client of this need before taking it by saying “I’m going to get quiet for a moment to think about that”.
Questioning Skills
Questioning is one of the most useful techniques that coaches use in helping their clients explore their issues. Coaches must ask questions that help the client get the most benefit from coaching and get down to the core of their issues. Questions not only help coaches to come to a deeper understanding of what a client is going through. But they also help clients get clarity on what they’re talking about and what’s important. This is why coaches need to ask questions that reflect an understanding of what the client is going through. So rather than asking the client “what do you mean” the coach would instead ask a question that shows a deeper understanding of their issues like “tell me more about what you mean when you say you feel rejected by your father”.
Characteristics of Good Questions
Short and Simple
Questions should always be as concise and to the point as possible. Long questions are difficult for a client to follow and fully understand. But the shorter the question the easier it is for the client to get to the core of what you’re asking them. A great technique to help with this is to ask your clients complex questions broken up into parts. So instead of asking “so did your mom really ask you that? What were the thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors you were feeling when she said that?” Ask instead “did your mom really ask you that?”; “what were your thoughts when she said that?”; “what were you feeling when your mom asked you that?”; “what beliefs do you think that activated for you?”.
Open-ended (find section above)
Open-ended questions are the most important tool in a coach’s toolbox of skills. Open-ended questions are those questions that cannot be answered with a “yes” or “no” or other one-word response. An example of a closed-ended question would be “did you have a good day” whereas an open-ended question would be “tell me more about your day”. Coaches use open-ended questions to help clients delve deeper into an issue and provide new insights and clarity into what’s going on. And it also helps coaches get a broader perspective on what the client is thinking since a client can go in any number of directions when answering questions open-endedly. Lastly, closed-ended questions are less useful because close-ended questions tend to end a discussion rather than expand and open up a discussion to wider opportunities for exploration.
Non-judgmental
Be sure that your questions do not convey judgment, prejudice, or bias. An example of this would be asking your client “why on earth would you do that?”. Interestingly, the tone of your voice and the reasoning behind the question will often differentiate between questions a client feels are judgmental and nonjudgmental. Asking a client with a sarcastic tone “what were you thinking?!” because you’re incredulous at their choice conveys judgment. Whereas a much different message is communicated when asking them “what were you thinking” in a straight tone because you desire to know their thought processes when making a decision. It’s also important that your questions do not convey that there is only one correct answer to the question or that there is some specific answer that you’re looking for as this will also come across as judgmental.
Language Mirroring
It’s important to mirror the language of your clients so that you are using the exact words that they use when describing their issues and goals. This will help your clients to connect with what you’re saying and be able to visualize it in their life. It will also help facilitate trust and rapport in your sessions because a client will feel heard and understood by you.
Exploring Commitment
Coaches also ask questions that help clients explore commitment, willingness to change, and reasons that they haven’t changed in the past. These questions help to question the client’s assumptions. Examples include “what’s stopped you from making these changes in the past?” This helps clients see why they may have made certain decisions in the past rather than making the changes that they’ve come to the coach for support. And coaches also help clients focus on their future goals with questions rather than allowing the client to stay stuck in the past. So when a client is focusing on past hurts a coach may ask them questions to help them focus on how to create change in the future to contribute to their goals.
How to use Questions Most Effectively
Using questions effectively is a matter of practice. Use the criteria above to work on your questioning. It may also be helpful for you to make a list of the most effective questions you have asked your clients, those questions that open them up and make a difference in their progress in coaching. Those are questions that you’ll begin to rely on as a coach and making a list of these will make this process simpler.
Worksheets you can use for examples of coaching questions:
Following you will find a series of links to worksheets you can use to find example coaching questions to use with clients. However, it is important to note that you should not rely on these hand-outs. Reviewing these questions will give you ideas of questions you can use with your clients in session. However, utilizing these lists during your sessions with your clients would be impractical and unprofessional. Relying on lists of questions is therefore not advised if you wish to demonstrate your ability as a coach and build trust and credibility with your clients in your coaching.
A Take-Home Message
Life skills coaching must be one of the most satisfying careers around.
If you want to assist others in finding success in their personal and professional lives, as a life skills coach, you can help individuals reach their full potential and achieve the most out of their life.
If you are already a helping professional, why not consider offering supplementary life skills coaching? You can use the skills you already have to provide an opportunity for someone to live their best life.
Life skills coaching enables you to work with clients you may not normally have the opportunity to work with and who aren’t in a sensitive emotional state.
Whether you choose to coach full-time or part-time, as part of an organization or independently self-employed, life coaching may be the career for you if you are patient, goal-oriented, empathetic, organized, and have good communication skills. A career in life skills coaching will be as lucrative as you make it; however, there is no doubt that there is a need for these professionals.
For many, a life skills coach could be the difference between “I want to do it” and “I did it!” As a life skills coach, you could be the catalyst in changing an individual’s course of life for the better and guiding them to live the life they desire.