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What if you discovered that having an easy life was terrible for you? What if you realized that facing hardship and enduring tragedy was good for you? It is. How you choose to look at your experiences influences what they can do for you.
The chaos in your life builds character.
We will endure tragedy and hardship in our lives at one point or another; it is the human experience to go through pain and upheaval because being alive is all about change. We come out of these life experiences with newfound strength and vision. Many have testified to this. Our instinct is to avoid making bad choices or engaging in risky behavior to protect ourselves and prevent tribulation. Our survival depends on it. As parents, we protect our children from danger and hurt, and we don’t want to see anyone we care about, whether they are family, friends, or strangers, in pain or peril. However, the older we get, the more we realize that life is full of twists and turns, and we will inevitably face misfortune in our lives.
It is essential to harness the power of upheaval and understand that some good can come from terrible situations.
The most important life lessons come when faced with situations we are ill-equipped to deal with. We feel helpless and shocked, sad and angry. It may be the illness or death of a loved one, losing a job, a relationship, or somehow having a transgression committed against us. It may be commonplace, but it feels like despair that we’ve never experienced before. Or it may be something catastrophic like a natural disaster, poverty, famine, or war.
One of the first realizations we must awaken to is that we are not the first to feel this way and will not be the last. While our experiences and feelings are valid and unique, some people have endured far worse and survived in the grand scheme of things. We are not alone.
The human condition is all about living through constant change. It is also about realizing that all we have is the present moment.
Famous author Eckhart Tolle has written extensively about the power of the present moment. He says:
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.” Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
This idea forces us to concentrate on what we are experiencing. The past is an illusion of memory, and the present is an illusion of hope or fear. The only reality is right now. In this context, while we may be in the midst of chaos or pain, we can realize that each moment is fleeting and will pass, and we have the power to determine if the moment improves or the situation worsens. Even when we are powerless to make things go our way, accepting this inevitability and ‘waiting it out gives us the foresight and clarity to merely observe what we are experiencing and extract the skills and lessons that will influence us to our advantage.
Chaos in your life builds character because it makes you feel alive. The diversity of emotions you withstand when your life becomes unstable compels you to have a range of responses you may not have had the opportunity to explore when things were going well. You gain problem-solving skills, resilience, patience, and ingenuity. If you manage your grief and anger, your fear and confusion by focusing on the present; centering yourself, and allowing yourself to feel without letting those feelings dictate your actions; reason and pragmatism will surface and give you strength to move on to the next moment a stronger and more capable person.
The antithesis to this is avoiding tragedy or disappointment as self-preservation. An easy life provides no challenge and can become tiresome. Unfortunately, it is only a matter of time that the certainty of life’s hardships comes knocking on our door.
You may inadvertently create or look for chaos to feel alive. Some people climb mountains or travel to remote parts of the world; they take on complex and challenging tasks to feel alive. When we are born into a privileged life, there is nothing more admirable than exposing ourselves to how others live and sharing our wealth and security. You may want to volunteer in a disaster zone or do aid work in a war-torn country. You don’t even have to go abroad. Some people volunteer and contribute within their communities to develop their empathy and go toward an understanding of what it means to suffer loss, experience hardship, and fight injustice, even when their own lives are charmed. This is a positive way to invite chaos into your life to learn.
It is essential to understand that the ups and downs of life are necessary for our character to evolve and for us to experience growth through catharsis. This means we undergo some transformation, a cleansing or purification utilizing suffering and change. We purge our emotions through a disastrous occurrence and ultimately find restoration and resolution at the conclusion.
When we don’t honor the validity and benefit of catharsis in our lives, we may invite chaos subconsciously; often through indulgences and risk-taking behavior that appears innocent and safe but may lead us down a dangerous road. Any excess can damage our lives, making it even more important to stay in control when our lives seem to be off the rails.
Understanding that life’s challenges are what makes us who we are gives us the strength and purpose to be prepared for anything. Our personality and character evolve through each cathartic experience, and we find the optimism to face misfortune head-on with practice.
