I love to see successful women. It’s a beautiful thing.
PsycholoyToday states that although things may look good for Hilary… “women continue to earn less money today than men and occupy fewer positions in politics and at the heads of Fortune 500 companies”.
So you see, women are still not matching men in the race for success, and I write this not to remind the ladies that they are still lagging. But to give them insights into the traps, I commonly see catch more women than men.
1. We Worry What Strangers Think
Have you ever asked yourself questions like…
“What if nobody likes this?”
“What if nobody takes me seriously?”
“What if I fail?”
As a woman, I know that we are natural worriers. We overthink and have certain rituals for our thought processes, especially when making big or overwhelming decisions. Nothing is wrong with that, but when these ‘thoughts’ consume us, it creates room for self-doubt. And when self-doubt is created, it makes room for the ego, and the ego only wants you in your comfort zone.
To stop second-guessing yourself, commit to not feeding into these thoughts. Start by becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings. Create a new ritual for when the “nobody will take me seriously” ideas start to bubble up.
Discipline yourself and forcibly stop the negative thoughts. Distract your mind with overwhelming gratitude for how far you’ve come and visualize the success you want. Nobody reached success with a mind clouded with full of doubts.
2. You Want to Change Yourself
It’s great to listen to other successful people, and inspiration is powerful! It’s important to see somebody who was once in the same position as you, who worked hard and is now in the place where you want to be. But the problem with this is that we think to be as successful as that person, we need to be like them.
Imitation may come from dressing like this person, copying their website, or their general persona. The problem with this is that you reject your unique qualities. This ‘resistance’ stops your mind, soul, and heart from growing. Certain people achieve a certain level of success because of their unique, special qualities.
And yes, you can achieve the same level of success but in your way. You don’t have to replicate their style, language, product, or personality to succeed. You are the magic, and you are all that’s needed. Use what you were naturally gifted with instead of faking somebody else gifts.
3. You’re Distracted by Shiny Objects
I could scream every time I saw articles with titles like…
“10 Style Tips for Working Women.”
“5 Shoes Everyone Working Mom Needs.”
“10 Suitable Perfumes for the Workplace.”
This kind of nonsense distracts you from your success. Let me straightforwardly decide for you about your hair, clothes, and shoes! All you need to be is clean, presentable, and know how to do your job well!
There are no shoes high enough, no clothes expensive enough, or no hair perfect enough that will get you to success if you can’t do what’s important, which is your job.
4. You Ask Permission
“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”― Ayn Rand
You may not ask for permission, but if the thought of standing alone with your decision or speaking up against someone else terrifies you, then all you think is left is to ask permission. This type of permission is when you know you’ll receive no resistance from anybody because what you’ve requested is so tiny nobody sees it as a challenge or because you know you are guaranteed to be backed by many others.
Leadership is not always happily standing apart; sometimes, it’s standing apart when it terrifies you. But you do it because there is something inside you that knows it’s the right thing deep down. Don’t fight this voice. And even if you get ‘knocked back’ or laughed at, stand proud and know you had the guts to stay true to yourself.
Get back up and keep pushing because it usually takes more than one kick to knock a door down.
5. You Break Her Down, Instead of Hold Her Up
The most common one woman does to ‘hate’ on each other. So many of us can’t wait to tear the other one down; why is this?
Why would it make someone so happy to see another woman fail? This mentality is sadistic, and we should never gain pleasure from harmful situations.
How happy could you ever be to find pleasure inside of sadness? How successful can you be when focusing on another women’s failure?
I’m not saying it’s your job to be the rock every time a woman fails, but when you put energy into negativity, you bring more of it into your own life; plus, it’s just not very nice. We all fall at some point; consider the treatment you prefer.
Conclusion
My takeaway message is not to ‘do it like a man because you can be successful being just yourself. My message is to start to beware of the ‘distraction’ traps men seem to ignore while women do not quickly. Let’s no longer rely on external forces like Governments to make the changes we can easily do ourselves.
This is not about bashing the female gender; it’s about reminding you precisely what you are capable of, which is far greater than owning the latest Dior scent.
