If you are in the throes of an addiction to drugs or alcohol, the thought of getting sober can be pretty terrifying. This disease affects women in profound ways. Even though being addicted is a terrible way to live, the horrors of addiction can become comfortable and familiar. If you are on the fence about getting sober, we want to help.
We have put together a short list that will hopefully motivate you to take action. You can begin your recovery journey and get sober today if you choose to. One thing is for sure – if you stay on your current path, things are only going to get worse. Addiction is progressive, chronic, and fatal if left untreated.
On the flip side, getting sober means you get your life back. It is all about reclaiming your mind, body, and spirit. Awesome things happen when you experience healing from a substance use disorder.
Here are 11 ways your life will improve when you give up drugs and alcohol:
#1 You Will Recover From the Madness of Addiction and Experience Personal Freedom
When you are battling a substance use disorder, you are engaged in a never-ending cycle of seeking drugs, scoring drugs, using drugs, and going through withdrawal. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. It never ends. This is insanity. (By the way, in case you didn’t know it, alcohol is a drug!)
When you get sober, you are set free from the chains of addiction. The cycle stops. With time, you will be restored to sanity. In recovery, you will learn to enjoy life without the use of drugs. You will be free to create whatever life you choose to. What a gift!
# 2 Your Family Will Be Proud of You
In active addiction; you are doomed to hurt your family, continually disappoint them, and worry them sick – over and over again. When you get sober, your family will be proud of you. They will support you and walk alongside you on your recovery journey.
It may take some time to repair some of the damage in your interpersonal relationships. The good news is that working the 12 Steps will allow you to make amends for the harm you caused in your addiction. This leads to the restorations of families and friendships.
# 3 You Will Be Proud of You
Let’s be honest. More than anyone else, you hurt yourself the most when you are abusing alcohol or drugs. You engage in behavior that you would never otherwise participate in. When you are high or drunk, you probably become someone you don’t even recognize – let alone have fond feelings for. Getting and staying sober is a major accomplishment – one you can feel proud of.
# 4 You Will Save Money
Drugs and alcohol are expensive. It doesn’t matter how much money you make; you are not exempt from becoming completely financially bankrupt in the course of an addiction. Not only does it cost money to get drunk or high, being under the influence causes you to make poor life choices, which can be very costly (legal fees, for example). When you get sober, your bank account will rejoice!
# 5 Your Overall Health Will Get a Boost
Drugs and alcohol make you feel lousy. Sure, you might feel good when you are under the influence. But, the feeling doesn’t last. When you come down, it’s just awful. That is why you stay engaged in the addictive cycle we mentioned earlier. You are looking for the absence of pain.
Drinking and drugging dehydrates you, messes with your sleep cycles, interrupts the natural function of your body’s systems, and destroys your organs. When you get sober, you will go through a short period of withdrawal. You may even need to undergo a medical detox. After that, your health will continually improve and you will feel better with each passing day.
# 6 You Will Lower the Chances of Developing a Serious Illness
It is no secret that excessive drug and alcohol use wreak havoc on your overall health. Those who abuse drugs and alcohol are eventually going to confront major health problems. It’s just a matter of time.
Addiction means you could wind up with any number of conditions: heart attack, stroke, liver disease, kidney failure, various types of cancer, or any number of other illnesses. Getting sober greatly reduces your chances of developing any one of these diseases.
# 7 You Will Sleep Better
It doesn’t matter if you are drinking tequila or shooting crystal meth. Drugs and alcohol significantly interrupt the body’s natural sleep cycle. You might stay up for days at a time, sleep for days at a time, or get only a few hours here and there.
Drug and alcohol abuse causes fatigue and physical exhaustion. Getting sober helps restore a restful, healthy sleep cycle. This allows you to feel energized and ready to tackle whatever life throws at you.
# 8 You Will Make New Sober Friends and Build Healthy Relationships
Sobriety gives you the blessed opportunity to make new friendships with people who are not using alcohol or drugs. You will certainly make positive connections with people if you choose to go for residential treatment and get involved in an alumnae program.
Also, attending programs like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous allows you to meet people who are also living a sober lifestyle. These 12-Step programs have regular social events like campouts, dances, bingo, and other fun activities.
# 10 Your Physical Appearance Will Improve
Drinking alcohol or using hardcore drugs like crystal meth, cocaine, heroin, or prescription narcotics takes a toll on your appearance. Your skin looks old and tired, your eyes are puffy all the time, and your skin is subject to infections, rashes, and sores. Plus, long-term drug use speeds up the aging process.
Getting sober will make you look better almost immediately. You will once again look vibrant, healthy, and refreshed when you get in recovery.
# 11 Lost Dreams Awaken and New Possibilities Arise
When you get sober, you will have the chance to pursue dreams that you gave up on because of your addiction. Life will open many doors for you to walk through when you get clean. Once you have made the courageous decision to navigate life with a sober mind, there is absolutely nothing off limits.
For example, you can go back to school, pursue a new career, be a better parent to your children, find your soulmate, perform better at work, go on that vacation….. if you can conceive it, you can achieve it!
Ready to Start Reaping the Benefits of Sobriety?
We could go on and on about the many awesome ways your life will improve when you get sober. But, why not find out for yourself? You have so much to gain in recovery. And, only have one thing to lose when you quit drinking or drugging – the monkey on your back!
The first step in overcoming a substance use disorder is admitting to yourself that you have a problem. The next step is to reach out for help. If you’re ready for treatment, we’re here. At New Directions for Women, we treat women of all ages, pregnant women, and women with children. We have been helping women get sober for more than 40 years. We can help you too!
Are You Ready for a New Relationship in Recovery?
This article is for all the ladies in recovery who are looking for love. There is no doubt that being in a relationship with someone special can add substance and value to your life. Having a supportive partner who encourages you, appreciates you, and brings you joy is awesome. Who doesn’t love falling in love, right?
However, we would be doing you a disservice if we didn’t ask you to slow down for just a moment. Matters of the heart can be quite complicated. It’s a good idea to proceed with caution. Before you move forward, we want to offer some words of wisdom if you are thinking about sober dating.
Yes, it is true that things can go beautifully right when it comes to the search for love. However; we want you to be prepared for the reality that things can also go terribly wrong. Are you really ready to have a healthy, loving relationship?
Let’s talk about sober dating. The decision to start a new relationship in recovery is not one that should be taken lightly.
First Things First – Some Important Questions You Should Ask Yourself
Before you jump feet first into sober dating, we encourage you to answer the following questions:
- Do you have at least one year clean? One year of sobriety can seem like a lot to a newcomer who wants to start a new relationship. But, it is HIGHLY recommended that you have at least one full year of recovery under your belt before you go looking for love.
- Have you worked all 12 Steps? The 12 Steps provide a solid foundation for recovery. They teach spiritual principles that show you how to cope with powerful emotions so you can stay sober no matter what comes your way.
- Have you talked to your sponsor about this? If you are working a program, your sponsor should know you better than anyone else. Of course, you don’t need her permission to start dating in recovery. BUT, having her blessing wouldn’t hurt. If she tells you she doesn’t think you are emotionally ready yet, you might want to take her suggestion and wait a little while.
- What are your motives for getting into a new relationship? You may think you know why you want to start dating. But, it is common for recovering women to get into a relationship for all the wrong reasons. Your motives may not be in the right place – and you may not even realize it. Are you trying to fill a void in your life with the affection of another human being? Are you just looking for sex? Are you being honest with yourself about how much work a relationship really requires? Check your motives with your sponsor. Be sure you are doing this with sincere intentions.
Before you zoom off to find the love of your life, we suggest that you practice Step 11 with prayer and meditation after honestly answering these questions. Ask the God of your understanding if you are spiritually ready to venture into the dating scene as a sober woman.
Remember, Recovery Has to Come First – Always
Addiction affects women in profound ways. If you decided to start dating in sobriety, you have to remember to keep your recovery first. Just because some dynamite person comes into your life and sweeps you off your feet doesn’t mean your recovery should take a back seat.
It is very common for recovering women to get caught up in the powerful emotions of a new relationship. When this happens; stepwork, meeting attendance, and calling your sponsor can seem like an afterthought. This can take you into dangerous territory.
As long as you can keep your recovery first, you will be in good shape. Remember, this relationship may not last. It could end up in a terrible, gut-wrenching breakup. If this happens, you need to be on solid ground so the program can catch you when you fall.
Be Upfront About Your Recovery to Your New Partner
Many sober women seek relationships in Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. Addiction experts are divided on whether or not this is a good idea.
Some say having a recovering partner can enhance individual sobriety. Others say it is a recipe for relapse. If you have decided to get into a new relationship with another recovering addict or alcoholic, you won’t have to explain the importance of your sobriety.
However; if you decide to date someone who is not actively involved in a 12-Step program, you need to let them know early on that you live a sober lifestyle. Tell them about meetings, stepwork, and the importance of sponsorship. Explain that – under NO circumstances – should they offer you a drink. If they use drugs of any kind, you should stay away.
You may invite your new partner to an open 12-Step meeting so they can learn about what it takes for you to stay sober. And, they should definitely meet your sponsor and have an honest conversation with her about your sobriety. If someone new is not willing to support you in your recovery journey, they are not the one for you.
Pick G-Rated Spots for Dates
A lot of sober people who venture out into the dating scene still think bars are a great place to meet people. WRONG! You have NO business being in a bar. It’s a set up for a relapse. Besides, you don’t want to meet someone who drinks regularly. This is not conducive to your sobriety.
Dating someone who occasionally drinks responsibly might be okay (talk to your sponsor about this!) but seeing someone who goes barhopping is not a good idea. It puts your recovery in danger. Plus, no self-respecting recovering woman wants to date a drunk!
Also, if you start talking to someone new, and they want to meet at a bar, tell them “no thank you.” Even if you like to play pool, darts, or other bar games; you need to steer clear.
Here are some G-Rated date ideas:
- The classic dinner and a movie
- A walk in the local park or a hike
- Attending a live theatre performance
- Coffee, or lunch
- Fitness class, if that’s your thing!
- Art gallery or museum
- Planetarium
- Meditation class
There are PLENTY of things to do on a date besides going to a bar. Get creative!
Don’t Drink or Take Drugs No Matter What
The most important thing to remember when you start a new relationship in recovery is to stay sober NO MATTER WHAT! Drugs or alcohol will never be a solution to navigating the powerful emotions that can arise from a new relationship.
Be prepared for what lies ahead. You will feel insecure. It is likely that you will experience some level of mental obsession when it comes to dating. Rejection is a very real possibility. You have the potential to substitute one addiction for another. (Love and sex can be intoxicating!) Your new partner may cheat, lie, or abuse you in some way. The list goes on and on.
We are not telling you all of this to bring doom and gloom into your mind about dating. Nevertheless, we know from experience that seeking romance in recovery can bring unexpected negative consequences that put recovery in jeopardy.
Consider all the possibilities before you start dating. Then, make the commitment now that you are going to keep your recovery first. Stay away from drugs and alcohol. Stay clean no matter what.
Be kind and loving to yourself as you venture into this new, unchartered territory. We wish you all the best as you make the courageous move into the dating scene. It is our sincere hope that you find a wonderful someone to treat you like the goddess you are!
Recovery is a “We” Thing – Not a “Me” Thing
Recovering from a drug or alcohol addiction is quite an undertaking. We say this not to scare you. Living a sober lifestyle is one of the most loving things you could ever do for yourself. It will also be one of the most rewarding. Nevertheless, we want to prepare you for the long haul.
Here’s the thing – you can’t do recovery alone. And, you shouldn’t try. Staying sober requires a collective effort. In order to navigate life’s ups and downs without putting drugs or alcohol into your body….. well….. as the saying goes; “It takes a village.”
There is great value in establishing a healthy support system in sobriety. There will be times when you need people to be there to encourage you on your journey. You need a sponsor to work the 12 Steps. It is important to have loving people in your life to process uncomfortable feelings with. You need to be around other recovering addicts who “get you.” Plus, you want a strong support circle to celebrate your victories with!
We do recover – but we do it together.
From the Isolation of Addiction to Making Healthy Connections in Recovery
Addiction has a way of isolating us from others. Many of us drank or used drugs alone. If we got loaded with others, these relationships were based solely on a mutual need to get the next drink, pill, or hit.
We hid from our friends and family members because we didn’t want them to know the extent of our drug or alcohol use. We lied to everyone around us. We tried to manage our addiction alone – but we failed.
In the early days of recovery, forging new, positive relationships can be difficult. After isolating for so long, it can feel uncomfortable to reach out for the helping hand of another person. Nevertheless, you simply MUST build healthy relationships. Your life depends on it.
The Benefits of Having a Healthy Support System in Recovery
It is very common for people to enter recovery and insist they don’t need help. They think they can just stay sober, go to meetings, and then go home and binge watch their favorite show on Netflix. This is not how recovery works! You can’t fix the stuff in your head with the stuff in your head. You need other people to lift you up and help you along the way.
If you are still struggling with isolation, here are a few of the many benefits to help motivate you to get excited about building a strong support circle in recovery:
- You will learn things from others you cannot teach yourself
- You will have fun and experience new things with friends
- You will not feel so empty or lonely
- You can ask questions about recovery-related topics
- You get to enjoy authentic human connections
- You will get a boost to your mental health
- Life won’t feel so difficult
- You will make genuine friends who care about you
There are hundreds of reasons to get out there and establish a support network. If you are feeling fear about making new friends, that is totally understandable. Ask your sponsor to introduce you around. Go fellowship after meetings. It may be uncomfortable at first, but it will be worth it!
If You Don’t Have One Already, You Need to Get a Sponsor
If you are sincere about staying clean, you need to have a sponsor in your life. A sponsor is someone who helps you work through the steps and shows you how to live by a set of spiritual principles. A sponsor is someone you can fully trust with your deepest secrets. A sponsor provides tremendous support in recovery.
It is quite reassuring to know that you have someone in your life you can count on to walk with you on your recovery journey. She will be there in the hard times. She will assure you that you are not crazy – that recovery is about being restored to sanity. She will help you develop a relationship with a Higher Power. She will help you build a new life for yourself. Sponsorship represents a sacred relationship between two recovering people.
Other Recovering Women Will Understand What You Are Going Through
In addition to your sponsor, you want to make sure you have other sober women on your team. It is suggested that you talk to at least three other recovering women every day. If you take the time and put forth the effort to make new friends, you will find out how valuable it is to have a healthy support system
Some women go to a treatment center to get sober. This is a great place to meet women to call and fellowship with when you both get out of treatment. Others opt out of rehab and instead go to a 12-Step program like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous.
The truth is – it doesn’t matter where you meet them. It doesn’t matter what their drug of choice was. It really doesn’t even matter how much recovery time they have. What does matter is that you find women who are working toward staying clean and living a sober lifestyle – just like you.
Addiction affects women very profoundly. Sober women will be able to relate to you in a special way where others can’t. You may have girlfriends or family members you are close to who are not involved in a 12-Step program. That is great! However; you definitely need to have women in your life who can talk to you about your sobriety.
Need Help Getting Sober?
If you are smack dab in the middle of an addiction, it can be next to impossible to have healthy relationships with anyone – including yourself. Once you get into recovery, you can begin to establish a solid support system.
Are you battling a substance use disorder? If you decide to get sober at New Directions for Women, you will have support for life. We have a very active alumnae program that encourages our patients to connect with other recovering women after treatment. We also help to connect you to resources in your community where you can meet sober friends.
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