True leaders, at any level of the totem pole, show their leadership primarily through managing their own emotions. After all, the only things we can control in our lives are our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and if we can manage those, we can lead our organizations from anywhere in the hierarchy.
How Our Emotions Work
True leaders show emotional intelligence by learning about the science-based patterns of how our emotions work and manage them.
If we know how our minds work, we can intentionally influence our thinking and feeling patterns. We can evaluate reality more clearly, make better decisions, and improve our ability to achieve goals, thus gaining more excellent agency and quality of living.
How do our minds work? Intuitively, our mind feels like a cohesive whole. We perceive ourselves as intentional and rational thinkers. Yet, cognitive science research shows that, in reality, the deliberate part of our mind is like a little rider on top of a giant elephant of emotions and intuitions.
Roughly speaking, we have two thinking systems. Daniel Kahneman, who won the Nobel Prize for his research on behavioral economics, calls them Systems 1 and 2, but I believe autopilot systems and intentional systems describe these systems more clearly. The term deliberate system, in particular, is helpful as a way of thinking about living intentionally, thereby gaining more excellent agency.
The Autopilot System
The autopilot system corresponds to our emotions and intuitions. Its cognitive processes occur mainly in the amygdala and other brain parts that develop early in our evolution. This system guides our daily habits, helps us make snap decisions, and reacts instantly to dangerous life-and-death situations, like saber-toothed tigers, through the freeze, fight, or flight stress response. While helping our survival in the past, the fight-or-flight response is not an excellent fit for modern life.
We have many small stresses that are not life-threatening. Still, the autopilot system treats them as tigers, producing an unnecessarily stressful everyday life experience that undermines our mental and physical well-being. Moreover, while the snap judgments resulting from intuitions and emotions usually feel authentic because they are fast and powerful, they sometimes lead us poorly in systemic and predictable ways.
The Intentional System
The intentional system reflects our rational thinking and centers around the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that evolved more recently. According to recent research, it developed as humans started to live within larger social groups. This thinking system helps us handle more complex mental activities, such as managing individual and group relationships, logical reasoning, probabilistic thinking, and learning new information and patterns of thought and behavior.
While the automatic system requires no conscious effort to function, the intentional system takes deliberate effort to turn on and is mentally tiring. Fortunately, with enough motivation and appropriate training, the deliberate strategy can turn on in situations where the autopilot system is prone to exceptionally costly errors.
Elephant and Rider
The autopilot system is like an elephant—it’s the more powerful and predominant of the two systems. Our emotions can often overwhelm our rational thinking. Moreover, our intuitions and habits determine the large majority of our life, which we spend in autopilot mode. And that’s not bad—it would be mentally exhausting to think intentionally about our every action and decision.
The intentional system is like the elephant rider. It can guide the elephant deliberately to go in a direction that matches our actual goals. Indeed, the elephant part of the brain is vast and unwieldy, slow to turn and change, and stampedes at threats. But we can train the elephant. Your rider can be an elephant whisperer. Over time, you can use the intentional system to change your automatic thinking, feeling, and behavior patterns and become a better agent in taking charge of your life and reaching your goals!
I hope this information fills you with optimism. You can use these strategies to get what you want and achieve success in life.
- What steps do you think you can take to evaluate where your emotions and intuitions may lead you to make mistakes?
- What can you do to be prepared to deal with these situations?
- What can you do to be an elephant whisperer and retrain your elephant to have thought, feeling, and behavior patterns that match your long-term goals?
